


5 Times Gabriel Enjoyed His Job Despite the Consequences and 1 Time He Felt So-So About It

by mamabearray



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Big Brother Gabriel, Female Aziraphale (Good Omens), Female Crowley (Good Omens), Gabriel is an idiot but he's our idiot, Golden Retriever Gabriel, Himbo Gabriel, Lowkey Crack, Pregnancy, Well-Meaning Gabriel, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:49:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22136584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mamabearray/pseuds/mamabearray
Summary: Aka 6 Times Gabriel Gets Slapped For His Lack of Communication Skills
Relationships: minor Crowley/Aziraphale
Comments: 6
Kudos: 65





	5 Times Gabriel Enjoyed His Job Despite the Consequences and 1 Time He Felt So-So About It

**Author's Note:**

> So i don't have much to say rn except for that this fic was inspired by [this tumblr post](https://bottom-aziraphale.tumblr.com/post/189666097052/asparklethatisblue-dumbass-good-omens-idea) and when I say that this idea just would NOT leave me alone until it was written I hella mean it. Twas very persistent!
> 
> But anyways! I hope you're all having nice holidays and good beginning of the new year and if you aren't that I hope your fortune changes for the better!
> 
> Hope you all enjoy!

#1 - 4004 B.C. - The Garden of Eden

Gabriel was practically vibrating out of his corporation with excitement. His first assignment for this aspect of his Heavenly duties! He’d been eagerly awaiting the moment that that little light would pop up inside of him informing him that it was time. He couldn’t believe that it was happening, really. It seemed like just mere moments ago that the Almighty was creating the _concept_ of human beings, and now here they were _multiplying_ and _populating_ the Earth! Of course it was going to take awhile to _complete_ that task, since there were only two of them at the present moment, the two of them being Adam and Eve. 

The thought of the two humans had a wide, enthusiastic grin stretching across his face once again. It wasn’t going to be just the two of them for much longer! It was finally time to pop down to Earth and inform the happy couple that they were expecting! He rose from his desk where he’d been doing paperwork and as he stepped out from behind it traveled down to the Garden of Eden, so hasty to do so that he almost left his corporation behind. (Which would have been an awful turn of events for the humans, since all of the angels had been informed that a human would _die_ if they were to look upon any of their true forms, and there was no coming back for them!) He appeared in the garden just a short distance away from Eve, who he could see picking berries from through the trees. 

“Hello!” he called out merrily as he walked through the grass and trees, pushing them out of his way with a minor miracle in his eagerness, Eve whirling around in shock, eyes wide and one hand on her chest as she accidentally crushed some berries in the other, the juice dripping down her clenched fist and staining her hand. Before she could open her mouth to _hesitantly_ greet him back, he had once again begun to speak, taking her hand and enthusiastically shaking it as he did so.

“I am _honored_ to be the first to congratulate you on your success. I’m very excited to see how you and Adam raise him and to see who he becomes. Of course, all of this has to wait until after he’s born!”

“I’m sorry- who is- what are- what do you mean bo-” Eve stuttered, frazzled and confused and caught off guard by everything that was happening.

“You know, because of my position I was able to get a good look at the biological plans for what’s supposed to happen during a human pregnancy and let me tell you, it’s a lot!”

Eve stared at him with wide eyes. “Pregnancy!?”

“Yes, that’s what I said! Pregnancy! And let me tell you it’s almost _shocking_ how big you’re supposed to get it’s like, wow! Human bodies sure are some tough, _very strange_ , hardy things! Of course, when he’s born there’s gonna be _a lot_ of screaming and blood and crying but it’s to be expected considering that you’re going to be pushing such a large offspring out of your-” and before he could finish, Gabriel was cut off by a sharp, stinging slap to the face by an _infuriated_ Eve.

He could only watch as Eve began a rant that he didn’t really listen to, still in shock as he touched his reddening cheek(which you couldn’t see very well under the dripping berry juice and mashed bits of berries stuck to it that was in the shape of Eve’s hand) and his ears still ringing from just how hard she had hit him. In fact, it looked like she was preparing to slap him once again at his inattention to her speaking, when suddenly there was somebody else grabbing his shoulders and pulling him back as they placed themselves between him and Eve. 

It took him a moment, but he easily recognized the short, plump stature of Aziraphale that had taken his place before the fuming woman. He could only watch in confusion as she calmed Eve down, apologizing for his behavior and then miracling a neat pile of the berries Eve had been picking onto the ground upon a large leaf before whisking him away and out of the clearing, leaving Eve alone once again. They kept moving until finally they were atop the Eastern wall of Eden. Gabriel, who had been silent since Aziraphale had appeared, watched as she muttered to herself for a few short moments before turning to him.

“Gabriel, not to be- well, not to be rude or anything of the sort, but what _is it_ that you did to make her so angry at you and to warrant-” she looked at his still berry covered cheek and then back at his face,”-to warrant _that_ ? I’ve never seen her behave that way before, so I do believe that there may have been something to _cause_ her to act that way.” Aziraphale shuffled nervously as she finished, finally looking away from his face and anywhere but back at it.

“I was only announcing her pregnancy to her, you know since it’s the first one and they won’t have any idea of recognizing what’s happening, and just some of what it entails when she _hit me_. She hit me, Aziraphale!” he exclaimed, still touching his cheek.

“Well, that isn’t so bad I gues-” Aziraphale started but was cut off.

“I was telling her about how she was going to get big with child and how during the birthing process there would be a lot of screaming and crying because, well, because it’s going to be painful. At least, it’s supposed to be painful. That’s what it said in the blueprints although I have no idea why it’s supposed to be as painful as it says in them-”

“Gabriel, can I just- May I give you a word of advice, perhaps? Although, I’m sure you don’t need it because you _are_ an archangel but I- I have been guarding the garden and the humans for a while now and- I just think I could maybe give some help on the “interacting with humans” bit is all,” Aziraphale finally finished, a flustered blush on her face, and she sighed in relief as Gabriel just nodded in agreement. As she began to speak she snapped her fingers, miracling Gabriel’s cheek clean. 

“Humans require a form of, well, a form of _delicacy_ and _precision_ when being spoken to, it seems like. Especially in sensitive subjects, such as _pregnancy_ and _birth_ for example. I’m sure that you were _very_ excited to go and inform her of the good news — I’m sure I would be as well — but perhaps the next time you speak to Eve and Adam or one of their descendants, perhaps just be a bit more careful in your choice of words and how you act around them. That should help to solve the problem that you had earlier. Just some slight work on your communication skills with humans is all it is!”

Gabriel considered her words for a moment and then nodded and smiled brightly. “Got it! Thank you so much for your assistance, Aziraphale! Now, I must be off back to Heaven, lots of work to do up there, and I’ll be sure to work on those “communication skills” for next time. Keep up the good work down here! Wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to the garden, would we!” And with a hearty chuckle Gabriel was on his way back to Heaven, leaving Aziraphale to nervously laugh and smile to herself. 

And, you know, Gabriel really _had_ meant to practice those “communication skills” that Aziraphale had informed him of, except, well. He just forgot to, and had already completely forgotten the whole situation and conversation when he went back down to Earth to help Eve with the birth of her son. It was fortunate that Eve was too busy giving birth to give any thought to the overly enthusiastic angel, or else he might just have gotten slapped once again.

* * *

#2 - 1 A.D. - Bethlehem

Gabriel walked into the inn and stood for a short moment, eyes scanning the room full of people bustling about and loudly speaking, all trying to converse with each other over the noise of others. Gabriel grimaced at just how crowded and loud it was, the exact opposite of how it was in Heaven. If it weren’t for the fact that this assignment required a face to face confirmation and report of completion and success and they couldn’t for the time being remove any of their earthly agents from Earth for even a minute, they would have just had Aziraphale send in a written report or recalled her up to Heaven to give it.

He finally spotted Aziraphale sitting at a table in a far corner of the inn, which was somewhat less busy and cluttered then the rest of it was. He quickly made his way through the crowd, grimacing as he squeezed between tables and chairs and ducked around barmaids scurrying about with trays full of drinks and food, trying his best to keep his robes from becoming soiled. He sighed in relief as he finally made it to the table, but grimaced slightly once again as he sat in an old chair that was pressed against the wall. Who knew what that chair had had done to it, but he pushed the thought away and turned to face Aziraphale, focusing on the task at hand.

Thankfully, he only had to ask a few questions, such as, “Were all forms of inns and lodgings in Bethlehem filled to capacity by the time Mary and Joseph had arrived? Were there any complications before, during, or after the birth of Jesus? Did the shepherds make it on time to the barn?” etc. Really they were simple questions, and Aziraphale was quick to answer them, and Gabriel nodded in satisfaction at each of her answers.

“Well, it was good seeing you again Aziraphale, although I hope the next time we meet is up in Heaven. It’s much cleaner and quieter compared to-” he cut himself off and completely forgot what it was that he was saying as one of the barmaids passed their table and he felt that little light inside of his essence pop to life. He distantly heard Aziraphale say his name in confusion but he was too focused on the tiny being nestled inside of the barmaid to pay attention. He quickly got up and followed the barmaid to the counter, ignoring Aziraphale calling after him, and smiled brightly as he caught her attention.

The barmaid could barely get out, “How may I help you?” before Gabriel began to speak. 

“Congratulations on the baby!” he exclaimed, bright smile still on his face even as the barmaid’s fell.

“I beg your pardon, what do you mean ‘baby’?” she said, positively scandalized.

“You’re _pregnant_!” he declared loudly with a clap of his hands, only drawing a few peoples attention, who then quickly went back to ignoring them to the relief of the barmaid, over the rest of the noise of the inn.

“I’m sorry sir, but you must have the wrong person because I can _assure you_ that I am _not-_ ” she ground out through gritted teeth before Gabriel interrupted her.

“Oh, do you not know how it is that you could have become pregnant? I would have expected that you would know, but humans have always been so silly and private over human behaviors and bodily functions that are completely _normal_ . But I’m getting ahead of myself, you become _pregnant_ through _sexual interc-_ ” and suddenly throughout the whole of the inn a loud _SMACK_ rang out, somehow overpowering all other noise. The room became silent for a short moment, almost as if in shock, before becoming even louder than before.

The barmaid glowered from across the counter and growled out a fury filled, “ _Out_ ,” before turning and stalking into the kitchen and out of sight, leaving Gabriel to stand there in shock and silence. Aziraphale, who had finally managed to make her way to Gabriel’s side, grabbed him by his shoulders and lead him as quickly as she could out of the inn and into the cool night air, making the heat in his cheek prickle and sting.

Before she could say anything, Gabriel looked down at her and asked, “Communication skills?”

She gave a quick nod(an embarrassed one if we’re to be specific, but Gabriel need not know or acknowledge that it was an embarrassed nod because of _him_ ). “Communication skills.” And then they parted without any other words spoken between them.

And, well, Gabriel is a _very busy angel_. Who’s to blame him if he, once again, forgot to practice those communication skills. He so rarely went down to Earth and conversed with humans anyways, what would it matter?

* * *

#3 - 540 A.D. - Kingdom of West Essex

He knows that he should have listened. He _knows_ that he should have listened to the advice of the other archangels and Aziraphale. Listened when he was told that he should stay in one place, to not wander about. Except that his curiosity had gotten the better of him and now he was _lost_ in this damned castle. He’d just wanted to explore, to observe this human dwelling that Aziraphale said only the richest of those on this part of Earth were able to live in. And he’d wanted to explore it when he knew that there would be no humans around to see him poking about, which is why he’d waited until they were all busy with what Aziraphale said was a “feast of celebration”. No humans would be around to bother him then!

Except now he was _lost_ in the castle which was _much_ bigger than he had expected it to be. There were so many twists and turns and hallways and “secret” passages and rooms and doors, and now he had no idea where he’d started or how to get back to the great hall, and there were no human beings to lead him back. He sighed in frustration and was just about ready to give up and use a miracle when he felt the light inside of him come to life and he turned to see one of the ladies of the court opening one of the doors down the hall.

He bounced excitedly on his toes for a second before eagerly calling out, “Hello! Ma’am!” and practically _skipped_ forward in glee towards the woman, who was very confused and concerned.

“Yes? Are you in need of something, good sir?”

“Oh no! Not at all! I just wanted to congratulate you of the good news of your upcoming pregnancy!” he declared happily, not seeing the ladies face become pinched and sour. “It should just be a week or two before it happens and you are gonna be in for a _whirlwind_ of a ride let me tell you- OW!” he cried out as he bit his tongue as his head was thrown to the side.

“I don’t know where it is that you’re from or who you think you are but how _dare you-_ ” the woman began, her voice slowly rising in anger and volume, just as Aziraphale rounded the corner and cried out his name in annoyance and stalked towards them.

“Do you know this man?” the woman asked as Aziraphale got to them and yanked Gabriel closer by the back of his tunic.

“Yes,” she replied, a strained smile upon her face. “He’s my older brother. He’s not-” she took a moment to find the correct words, “-quite right in the head. Childhood accident, you see. Ever since words just tumble out of his mouth whenever they pop into his head. I apologize for anything rude he may have said, but now you must excuse us because our mother is completely beside herself with worry over him. I hope you have a wonderful evening.” Aziraphale then dragged him away before he could open his mouth to say anything once again.

When Aziraphale thought they were a sufficient distance away from the aggrieved party, she made an abrupt halt and pinched her nose with her fingers as she sighed in frustration. “How many times have I told you about-”

“Communication skills?” he said hesitantly. It was said hesitantly because, well, he _had_ forgotten about the communication skills… Again.

“ _Yes. Communication skills._ ” She looked at his red cheek and sighed once again, this time tiredly. “I know you mean well Gabriel, but do you not get tired of being slapped silly by people?” Gabriel only shrugged, and she sighed once again. They swiftly said their goodbyes and parted ways after Gabriel gave Aziraphale her next assignment.

Needless to say, no communication skills were practiced by a certain archangel.

* * *

#4 - 1880 A.D. - London

Gabriel didn’t like all that many human things, much less _enjoy_ them. He thought that the music of human beings was interesting to listen to, and their advancements in technology were fascinating to study, and he had a certain fondness for many types of their clothes, but he did not _enjoy_ them in such the way that he enjoyed being a part of the heavenly host and performing the whims of the Almighty. Even if none of them had actually _heard_ anything from the Almighty themselves for quite some time, all orders dictated through the Metatron. 

One of the human things that he especially did _not_ like or enjoy was food. He had never felt the slightest bit of curiosity to sully his celestial being with such gross matter. But he knew that Aziraphale _did_ enjoy food, and he had heard from somewhere that food helped to make people feel better, and Aziraphale had been so _sad_ lately. He couldn’t bear it, really. It was why he had gone and gotten her a cake from a bakery that he remembered she had said was one of her favorites. He had just made it back to the bookshop with cake in hand and was now searching for whichever nook or cranny she was hiding in at the moment.

He had sensed that something was wrong with the younger angel for a while now, and he regretted not checking in on her sooner. She had always been cheerful and sweet and often had a smile on her face whenever he saw her, but he hadn’t seen her smile or laugh genuinely even _once_ since he had come down a week ago. She still tended to her bookshop and read her books, still consumed human sustenance, still performed miracles and still dressed in the clothes that she liked so much, but it was all done without her usual thoughtfulness or joy or pleasure, she just did it because it was what she did.

At first he hadn’t understood why Aziraphale enjoyed human culture so much, but it had grown on him, and it felt wrong to see her so not herself. He hoped and wished and even _prayed_ to the Almighty that this cake would help make Aziraphale better. He didn’t think it would be a wise decision to recall her back to Heaven to see what was wrong, to take her away from the things that made her so unique and happy, it would most likely make her condition _worse_ if anything. And if her condition worsened it could possibly lead to her _f-_ No! He wouldn’t think of such things. She was his charge and he would help her, no matter how long it took.

So lost in his thoughts was Gabriel that he didn’t realize that he’d just gone in a circle around the shop without really paying attention or looking for Aziraphale, and when he finally pulled his head out of the clouds he had somehow ended up behind the small counter that had the shops register upon it. He shrugged and set the cake down, taking off his overcoat and cap, thinking about where in the shop Aziraphale could be curled up in when he felt the light inside his essence become bright. He quickly turned around, a smile already forming on his face as he lightly bounced on his toes, and came face to face with a woman holding a book in her hands. 

“Hello, sir,” she said lightly. “I was just wondering how much this costs-”

“Congratulations!” he burst out in glee, a little louder than he meant to, slightly shocking the woman.

The woman stared at him, her face one of confusion. “Congratulations? What for?” 

“On the baby! Well, more specifically, _your_ baby that you’re currently growing inside of your uterus.” He paused for a moment and tilted his head, considering something. “Actually, _babies_.”

“Ex-excuse m-” the scandalized woman began, her face growing red in anger, but was cut off by the energized archangel.

“You know! I still think it’s crazy that human bodies are so durable and that they can grow tiny humans inside of them. _You’re growing two of them inside of you!_ That’s so exciting! And all because you had sexual intercourse with somebody who has a- OOMPH!” he caught himself against the counter before he could fall to the ground and watched through watery eyes as the woman stormed out of the spinning shop, yelling out how she would never come back to a shop run by such an awful and inappropriate man.

He focused his gaze on the counter top until the world had stopped spinning enough to let him keep his balance without having to hold on to it, and then brought one of his hands up to his cheek, letting out a small hiss of pain as he rubbed the red, stinging skin. When he finally looked up and away from the counter top he had to catch himself once again as he jumped in shock at the sight of Aziraphale standing in front of him, holding the book the woman had been asking about to her chest and her lips pressed tightly together.

Oh _heavens_ he had upset her. Stupid stupid _stupid_. Why did he always forget about those damned communication skills! And now because of it he’d upset her and now she would get _worse_ and anything that happened to her was his fault because he had been slacking and wasn’t caring for her as he should have and and and- 

A stifled laugh tore him out of his panic and threw him straight to confusion. He watched with wide eyes as Aziraphale’s lips trembled with the force of trying, and failing, to hide her smile and laughter, her eyes beginning to twinkle. Her eyes landed on his red cheek, which he still happened to be massaging, and she could no longer contain her laughter. It filled the room, loud and boisterous and was one of the most beautiful things Gabriel had heard in his whole existence. 

Her laughter was contagious and before long he was laughing as well, both of them clutching their bellies and crying out how it hurt to keep laughing, but each time they began to wind down they would look at each other and begin all over again. When they had finally calmed down they were on the floor, panting as they tried to catch their breath, small giggles still fighting their way out of their throats.

“Was it the communication skills?” Gabriel finally managed to say, making another giggle burst out of Aziraphale as she nodded.

“The communication skills.” She suddenly turned quiet and serious, and then softly said, “Thank you, Gabriel, for everything. Don’t you go and change yourself on me.” Gabriel could do nothing but nod in response. They sat in peaceful silence for a few short moments before Aziraphale sniffed in curiosity and asked, “Do I smell cake?”

Gabriel did _not_ enjoy human activities, but he _did_ enjoy spending time with Aziraphale, and if that meant partaking in eating cake and putting gross matter into his celestial body, then it was alright. And perhaps, just this once, it was alright for Gabriel to forget about practicing his communication. He had much more important business to tend to.

* * *

#5 - 1967 A.D. - London

“AZIRAPHALE!” Gabriel called out as he burst into the backroom of Aziraphale’s bookshop. In response, there was a sudden, loud scream of shock and a large clatter as metal clanged and rolled along the ground.

“GABRIEL!” she cried out as she clutched her chest and breathed in and out deeply, calming her racing heart. “You practically gave me a heart attack! A little warning would be nice before you go bursting into somebody’s home, screaming as if you’d just been shot or something!”

“Sorry, sorry!” he replied in a loud whisper, and then continued (still in the loud whisper), “Just wanted to check in! See how you’re doing and-” he cut himself off in shock and then began speaking in his normal tone of voice. “Is that holy water in that jar and thermos?” Aziraphale’s eyes widened and she looked once, twice, and finally a third time to the holy water and then to Gabriel.

“... No?” she said as she quickly ducked down and picked up the holy water filled thermos and put it on the table by the jar and hiding it behind her, all while innocently smiling. She quickly dropped said smile as Gabriel only crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow at her in place of asking for an explanation.

“It’s- it’s for-” she began to stutter out, nervously glancing all around the room except for where Gabriel stood. “It’sforsomehumans!” She finally blurt out all at once and then snapped her mouth shut with an audible ‘click!’.

“Humans? Why would some humans need holy water blessed by an _angel_? You know that all humans who believe they are in need of holy water are to obtain it from a place of worship. You could get in trouble for-” Aziraphale cut him off with a tiny, frantic hand flap before she clasped them together and then clutched them tightly to herself and beginning to rant. 

“I know I know I know! It’s just- they looked so sad and _scared_ when I saw them and you know humans can sometimes just _sense_ that I’m an angel even if they don’t know what it is they’re sensing and when they walked into the bookshop and saw me they just raced right over and practically _begged_ me if there was a book or person or something that could help them and- and I know that I can be a bit soft with them sometimes but _really_ I’m just trying to help just this once and-”

“It’s- it’s alright, Aziraphale,” Gabriel cut her off, overwhelmed with all she’d said and the speed with which she said it, his mind still trying to catch up. “Really it is just- just calm down a little. There’s no need to be so panicked about it. And I won’t tell anybody since it’s just this once, but if I hear of you doing it again I’m gonna have to report it, understand?” 

Aziraphale sagged in relief at his words and nodded. “It’s just this once, and no more.” There was a ringing as the grandfather clock that she kept in her shop rang out the new hour, and she jumped in alarm at realizing the time. “Oh, I’ve got to leave this instance if i don’t want to be late to meet with C- to meet the human!” she said as she hurriedly put on her coat and gathered her things, pushing Gabriel out of the shop as she went.

“Can’t I go with-” he began to ask but was cut off.

“No! No you can’t come with me. Terribly sorry. They’re- they’re very private, this human. Wants to meet me by myself. Wouldn’t want them to run off now, would we?” And then she was off, disappearing into the crowd, leaving Gabriel feeling very lost and at the front of her bookshop. He stood there for a moment before deciding to wander about and see what had changed since he’d last been on Earth. He _could_ have gone back up to Heaven, and he entertained the thought, but he hadn’t yet accomplished his reason for coming down to Earth, which was to catch up with Aziraphale and see how she was doing since he’d left towards the end of the last century.

It wasn’t long before he was standing outside the building of where the bakery that he had often picked up baked goods for Aziraphale was, and he was pleased to see that it was still open and running. As he stepped inside he took notice of renovations and what had remained the same. It was late enough in the night that he was the only person there other than the woman working behind the counter, and he decided that he would go ahead and buy something for Aziraphale for when she was finished meeting with the human. As he stepped up to the counter to order he felt the little light inside of him go off as the woman approached him to ask what he would like. Before she could do so, however, Gabriel began to speak.

“Congratulations on your future baby!” he happily exclaimed with a smile on his face. The woman only gave him a blank, wide eyes stare. He tilted his head and stared at her, still in happiness but now mixed in with confusion. “You… do know about babies, right?” She seemed old enough to him to know of them, but humans _were_ strange creatures after all. The woman nodded. He clapped his hands together as he said, “Great!” which caused the woman to jump slightly, finally jolting her out of her wide eyed staring.

“I apologize,” she began with an edge in her voice, “But I don’t quite understand what you mean by ‘Congratulations on my future baby’. I think you’ve mistaken me for somebody el-”

“Oh, I’m not mistaken! You’re going to be pregnant soon!” Gabriel leaned excitedly onto the counter, getting closer to the woman, “Isn’t that something exciting to look forward to, and it’s just amazing to think about how this is something that human beings have been doing for the past, oh, 6,000 years give or take. And now you’re going to be a part of that too. Of course first you have to have sexual intercourse before that happens and it may take a few tries but-” Gabriel was cut off as the palm of the woman's hand made contact with his face. As the woman opened her mouth to speak, face red with anger and hand getting ready to fly once again, there was a sudden chiming and rush of footsteps as the door opened and Aziraphale came sliding to a halt by Gabriel’s side. 

“Hello miss!” she pants out quickly as she shows Gabriel out of the way. “I _deeply_ apologize for whatever it is that my idiot brother has said to you. He just doesn’t understand the words that come out of his mouth sometimes!” she gives a nervous laugh and then sets some money on the counter. “For your troubles! Let’s go Gabriel!” and then they’re out the door before Gabriel or the woman can say anything else.

It’s only when they’re back at the bookshop that Gabriel realizes that he hadn’t managed to get Aziraphale anything from the bakery and he inwardly pouts. He decides to ignore the fact that he’d forgotten about the communication skills once again, he’d think about them later, in favor of finally catching up with Aziraphale.

He did not think about the communication skills later.

* * *

+1 - 2023 A.D. - London

Gabriel let himself step straight into Aziraphale’s shop rather than appearing somewhere outside of it and walking inside as he usually did. With him he had a book that he thought and hoped Aziraphale would enjoy having. He was still learning about these human objects and materials that Aziraphale loved so much, but he would much rather spend much of his time(not all of it of course, he was still an archangel and had important work to do) learning these ins and outs of humanity and Earth and rebuilding his relationship with Aziraphale as opposed to the other alternative, which would be to never speak to or see Aziraphale again.

Although he wasn’t supposed to have any, Aziraphale was one of his favorite siblings and charges. He _liked_ hanging out with her and speaking with her, even when it was about human things that he didn’t quite understand what it was that she was speaking of. Her consumption and love of food and books endeared him, and their shared passion for human clothing was a nice past time, the both of them walking through different human shops and finding all sorts of clothing to try on and present to one another and purchase. 

He didn’t want to lose such things to Aziraphale’s involvement in stopping the Apocalypse-That-Never-Was and then their awful decision to try and have her executed. It was a slow road, rebuilding their trust and relationship with one another after that, but if anything he thought that it was becoming stronger and better than the one before, and so perhaps it was all for the better that all these things had happened.

With a bounce in his step Gabriel walked into the backroom where he knew Aziraphale would be, happily beginning to call out a greeting. “Hey there, Aziraphale! How have you be-” he choked off himself in shock and sharply inhaled as he stumbled and almost fell, the book falling from his hands as he just stared wide eyed with a dropped jaw at Aziraphale, who was staring at him in concern and confusion from where she had just risen from her seat. That little light inside of his being had just gone off when he’d gotten close to Aziraphale which could only mean-

Gabriel rushed forward and clamped his hands down onto her shoulders, ignoring the small squawk she made. “WHO STUCK THEIR DICK IN YOU!?” he shouted, eyes wide. Aziraphale, his sweet, sweet Aziraphale, his favorite little sibling who was kind and beautiful and _innocent_ was- was pregnant! Which could only mean that she had- that she had had- NO! He refused to think about it! It wasn’t possible! Except that it _was_ possible because _there the evidence was_ right inside of her!

“Ga-Gabriel!” she sputtered in shock, face flushing a deep red and eyes becoming wide. “What in the bloody hell is wrong with y-”

“WHO STUCK THEIR DICK IN YOU AND GOT YOU PREGNANT! WHO DID IT AZIRAPHALE?” he whirled around and began to pace in agitation, shock racing through him. He could faintly hear Aziraphale calling out his name, trying to catch his attention and draw him out of his thoughts, but his mind was racing and so her attempts failed to make him listen to her. 

Just as Aziraphale was about to grab him and make him face her, Crowley walked into the backroom and straight into Gabriel, a box of chocolates in one hand and in the other a fancy shopping with… lacy, select wear nestled inside of it. Lacy, select wear for somebody who was most decidedly _not_ Crowley. She and Gabriel stared at each other for a tense moment, unmoving and silent, and then Gabriel began to speak, quietly at first but slowly rising in volume and intensity.

“You- You’re the- _You-”_ it was at this moment that Crowley decided to start frantically backing away from Gabriel, Gabriel following her, “ _YoU’RE THE ONE THAT STUCK YOUR DICK IN HER YOU-”_ Suddenly he was yanked away by the arm before he could get any closer to Crowley, who’d accidentally backed herself up against a table, and there was a resounding SMACK that filled the room as Aziraphale’s hand made contact with his cheek. Gabriel could only hold his hand to his cheek and stare with wide eyes and dropped jaw as Aziraphale dragged Crowley from where she was frozen against the table to stand in front of Gabriel with her. 

Aziraphale cleared her throat and gave a pointed look to both of them, letting them both know that she wanted them to be silent until she was finished speaking. “So I know that we all know each other here, but why don’t I reintroduce you two. Gabriel, meet Crowley, my wife. Crowley, meet Gabriel, my older brother. You are _both_ very important to me and I would _love it very much_ if you both got along with one another, do you think that this is something that you’ll two be able to do for me?” She looked at the both of them as they looked at each other and then back to her, dozens of different emotions racing across both of their faces before they settled on reluctant agreement.

“Good!” she said as she smiled. “Now, Crowley, Gabriel was just telling me the wonderful news that- well, that we’re going to be parents!” she happily cried as she threw her arms around Crowley, the other only able to make sputtering, shocked sounds as she held her and just barely managed to keep upright and not fall to the floor.

Gabriel watched as Aziraphale happily chattered away, his cheek still stinging. He smiled as he saw how happy and glowing she was. He was going to be an uncle! How exciting was that! His eyes then landed on Crowley and his eyes narrowed at her, and he made some human motions that he’d recently learned to let the demon know that he was watching her, and that if she ever hurt Aziraphale that she would regret it, and she in turn just made some other hand motions that he didn’t feel like translating at the moment.

They both smiled politely at one another as Aziraphale pulled herself out of Crowley’s arms with a gasp. “Oh, Gabriel! Let’s get you some ice for that cheek! You can stay here and get comfortable Crowley, we’ll be back soon enough!” and she grabbed his hand and dragged him towards the kitchen with her. He watched her bustle around the kitchen, and he knew that they would probably end up speaking about his communication skills and how they could have gone better, but at the moment he couldn’t find it in himself to care, seeing how happy and bright she was.

 _An uncle!_ He thought once again. _Imagine that!_

He never really _does_ get around to practicing those communication skills, much to Crowley’s delight and Aziraphale’s tired acceptance.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank y'all so much for reading this fic! If you liked it please feel free to leave a kudos or a comment! (Ya girl loves comments y'all) 
> 
> I currently have a few other fics that I'm working on at the moment and I'm hoping to have the next fic in my Dear Wormwood series out at around the end of the month or the beginning of February, so if you like my fics subsribe to me so that you can get updates on whenever I publish fics!
> 
> I hope that you all have a wonderful day!


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